Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
