Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
