Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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