Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
50% drunk capacity currently
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
