it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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