i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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