Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
