Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He shit in the fireplace
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
