Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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