What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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