Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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