They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
