Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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