it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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