woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize