I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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