I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
