First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
