so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
