Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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