I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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