you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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