toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
