return my video game
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
