Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
