i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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