Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
