You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
