He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
