That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
no you cant smoke seaweed
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
