I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
