It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I have post one night stand depression
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
