So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
