it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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