brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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