and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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