that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
