Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize