I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
