is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
