I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
