I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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