we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
