I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
