Sponge bath it is.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
