perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
