It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
