whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my shit smells like andre
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
