Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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