Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
