I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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