You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
